The Difference in Surprises and Problems

How many of us love a surprise party or love planning a surprise for a loved one? We get so excited for the positive vibes found in the surprise and cannot wait to give or receive that surprise party!

Did you know that excitement though, comes from the dissonance that will be created in our brains? Whether it is in ours or the person we are going to surprise, it is dissonance because surprises interfere with the common routines we go about with in our lives.

Coming home after a long day… SURPRISE! There’s a party.

Believing we won’t see a loved one until some time after… SURPRISE! They’re at our front door (or even inside, casually sitting in the living room).

Hearing the ruffles of a puppy inside a (safe and breathable) box… SURPRISE! Loads of CUTENESS stampeding in our direction with the FEROCIOUS licks and sniffs of LOVE.

Surprises are unexpected things that disrupt our regular patterns of our lives, or better explained: they are things that disrupt the harmonious flow of our brain’s cognitive accord.

This is why -whether you expected it or not- surprises are a lot like problems. The only difference is OUR preferences towards this same perspective. Wait, WHAT??

Think about it…

When we receive something and we like it, what do we usually call it:

a SURPRISE.

But when we receive something unexpected and we DON’T like it, what do we call that??

a PROBLEM.

We love it when things go as expected -under that sense of control that stems from predictability- but as soon as something strays off plan, our brains’ harmonious flow is disrupted by a red alert sounding off the alarm: Uh-oh, we have a problem! What we don’t tend to like when they don’t go as planned, we tend to call those events or circumstances problems.

However, they’re basically the same thing occurring in the external environment -unexpected events- that create our cognitive dissonance. The difference is internal, something we CAN control. Of course, it’s completely understandable to prefer pleasant surprises over problems, but they come from the same external source.

What we, as Leaders, must do is recognize that many opportunities, to improve our health and reach solutions quicker, exist within these unexpected events, whether we like them or not. We, as Leaders, must realize that sometimes when we do not like unexpected things, that same preference may be an obstruction of having a clearer mind.

For example, a leaky pipe. No ones likes a leaky pipe. But it’s far better to find out about it sooner instead of later when it could cause much more damage. This optimistic perspective is the same yearning and forward-looking energy we have when receiving or giving our surprises. We just CANNOT WAIT for the surprise. We CANNOT WAIT for the pleasant experience, right? In this example, problem is to surprise, as solution is to reward. And the best part is that when we are able to treat problems like surprises, we can create an additional link that connects problem, not just to solutions, but even beyond for reward. Having fixed the pipe is a reward in and of itself!

As Leaders, we must discern, not whether something is a surprise or not, but whether we like something unexpected or not because solutions AND rewards start manifesting from within.

When we, as Leaders, can juggle our preference between surprises and problems, we expand our scope of understanding and taking action that will, ultimately, strengthen the care we have for those in our charge, ourselves, and the world.

🔴 Be Empowered, my friends.